My therapist told me I was BOLD today.

B-O-L-D bold today.

I remember meeting her sometime ago

broken, lost, merely going through the motions

She spoke over me, into me, and about me.

She showed me the me I couldn’t see.

I did my work as Ms. VanZant would say, I still am really.

But I like me now

I love me most days.

I’m learning boundaries, optimism, leadership, and decision making all over again.

If the code wasn’t learned early on we must commit to mastering it

I am learning a healing code, proud first timer.

I’m healing generational curses.

I’m bold and I shine according to what my therapist told me today.

And I’m sitting in it and with it

please do not disturb.

I do therapy bi-weekly. I’m not in a crisis, I’m not going through a current mental health challenge, actually life is great, literally. They say the best time for therapy is when you don’t need it, that’s why right now I’m focused on getting tools to cope with what may come, and healing what has been. I love my therapist, she’s black and dope af. She’s a mom, a woman of faith, a wife, and entrepreneur, so she like really, really gets me. Did I mention she has islander parents like me too? Finding the right therapist is like dating, it can take a while to find your ideal match, but my therapist is like a tall drink of water on a hot day, soothing perfection. We’ll call her Susan, because I know some of you will try to look her up and steal her time, and we can’t have that.

Anywho I talk with Susan every other week to check in and up on things. Sometimes we talk about the now and what’s in the way for me, and sometimes we delve into my childhood. It really all ebbs and flows. She asks me questions, makes connections in my life objectively, and asks me my thoughts a lot. Therapy is sitting with an experienced professional that focuses on listening to you and gives you honest, unfiltered, but kind feedback about your life, not so bad right? Lately we’ve focused on me setting better boundaries. I was recently given homework, and had to have a hard conversation with a friend. I chickened out and texted versus calling and was feeling a lot of shame and guilt around it. However, when we talked she asked me if I was feeling lighter due to putting the burden down, “Oh my GOD yes!” I replied. She then reminded me that it wasn’t my burden to carry and that given the situation I did the best that I could, and I faced it.

Without that perspective I would’ve been thinking about it forever, playing out new scenarios in my mind. Sometimes you need another set of eyes to give you insight on what they see. If you often say I am my own worst critic, then therapy is for you because seeing yourself on the other side of someone’s eyeballs is quite growth enhancing. I truly believe everyone deserves a good therapist, and Lord knows we’d be in a better place if everyone had one. I’ve struggled with both anxiety and depression, but therapy has helped me get to a better place, and it can most likely help you too. I hope sharing this poem and short story during Mental Health Awareness Month inspires someone to make a call today. I’ve shared some of my favorite resources below for therapy options both long and short term, because again Susan is mine mmmkay!

https://therapyforblackgirls.com/

https://therapyforblackmen.org/

16 Diverse Directories for Therapy HERE

What My Therapist Told Me Today …