Parenting in a Pandemic
This is some hard ish, am I right? I actually have loads of other colorful language I could use to describe it, but my former students read this BLOG, so I keep it real, but rated G. This has seriously been the hardest parenting challenge yet, and on many days I’d rather opt out, but in a pandemic that's not an option. I’ve been at home with my little one since March 13th, 6 months and 11 days, that’s been 195 days, 4,680 hours, I mean 53.28% of 2020. If you get nothing else from that sentence, know that it’s been a lot. I am making it, and actually thriving in many areas, but this parenting one is by far the most taxing.
My son started the pandemic as a 4 your old and is now 5. He was in Pre-K, but is now in Kindergarten, and in this massive amount of time we’ve gone through some major behavioral challenges. Everything from irrational fears, to sleep regression, to telling fibs, tantrums, massive meltdowns over the simplest of things, and even nightmares. Sheesh just recounting it all is exhausting. Directly before Covid my family flew to Virginia to attend the funeral of my son’s great-grandmother. My husband and I, after lots of discussion, decided we’d allow him to go. He seemingly accepted it in the moment, but we noticed a stealing candy habit pop up in the following days after sharing the news of her death.
He really struggled once we returned home, and so we ended up making a memorial in the backyard for her, and let him paint rocks to decorate it. When he expressed missing her we sent him outside to talk to her. We also printed pictures and hung them in his room, and allowed him to sleep with a blanket that had her and other family members on it. It used to be in the living room and he felt that it was special now that it was in his room near him. Being in the house and constantly being around one another didn’t help the grieving process either, school was practically non-existent in March and April and we initially struggled with how to use the time.
We quickly realized we were going to have to implement a schedule, some routines, and consistency. Throughout April and May we taught lessons, painted, danced, did yoga, took walks, cooked together, rode bikes, hiked, and learned so much. Some days were harder than others, but we were getting the hang of it and the tantrums and candy stealing were reducing. Then the end of the school year came, and we wanted him to have a bit of a break, because honestly we needed one too. We’d both been working this entire time. Myself as the Founder of Restore More, and my husband as an Athletic Director and PE Teacher at a Middle School.
We planned some fun covid-safe stuff like mini golf, beach day, go-karting, and enjoyed the first couple of weeks, however we soon realized he’d need some sort of routine or schedule even in the summer, because without it he’d attempt to be on his tablet all day, which changes him into a Gremlin, so we avoid too much screen time at all costs. Sadly this pandemic has had us failing at this effort on many days, and we’ve decided to let go some of our rigid parenting expectations.
We’re now a few weeks into the school year and things are going well, he’s adjusted and enjoys it a lot. On the downside, it’s even harder to accommodate all of our schedules now, but we’re trying our hardest, and honestly it’s nice to see him have things to look forward to and the planning not be on me or Dad. One of the interesting things is that I’ve been leading sessions on this exact topic alot lately, and the reality is I don’t have it all figured out. I do have suggestions and tips, things that have worked well for my family and students and I share them with the hope that something may work for you as well.
Yes my expertise is in working with middle schoolers, building relationships, and developing curriculum to do so, but raising children is a whole other BEAST, that doesn’t always work as well as my lesson plans once did. I am still learning, still growing, and still failing at this motherhood thing, and you know what? Parenting in a pandemic will expose it all: the good, the bad, and all the magic in between. I know I’m not the only mom who has struggled during this uniquely challenging time. One thing I know though is that we’ll continue to show up, show out, and learn along the way. Cheers to the Mamas!!!
- Claudine Miles, M. Ed.