GOOD GRIEF
In our Instagram stories this week we asked “What is grief?”, and one response we loved was “recognizing the cost and the loss” and that stuck with me.
Grief is like the physical pain of realizing just that, and it’s a long process as illustrated above. In one of my random IG scroll sessions last week I came across a clip from a recent Episode of the Colbert Show and his guest, Andrew Garfield said “the grief, it’s all the unexpressed love, that we didn’t get to share with the person”. I found that beautiful, he went on to say he hopes that stays with him because he doesn’t want that love to die. Another responder to our IG query said “It’s unpredictable. One minute you're okay, and next you're crying the Chick Fil-a drive thru”, and to be honest no lies were detected here, all of these summations are true, yet they don’t make it any easier when death knocks on the door of those we love.
I couldn't forget the day if I tried it was on October 27th, a Wednesday. My best friend and business partner, Kim, called me that afternoon and told me that in the middle of the night her father had awoken and was coughing badly and struggled to catch his breath. Kim was letting me know that she may need to go home by the end of the week. In a state of disbelief I told her that wasn't an option, that she needed to get home as soon as possible by the end of business even. She then told me to hold on and I heard a pause as if she was looking at her phone screen to see who was on the other end. It was her mother and as soon as she told me a pit in my stomach started to grow I told her to call me back and I hung up, nervously waiting. She called back way too soon for it to be anything other than devastating news. He had passed, our plans were futile. How can one plan when something happens so suddenly? This was a really hard day. I dropped everything and rushed to be with Kim, in her presence and help her pack up to get on the road to Mississippi to be with her mother and sister.
The next few weeks we're dizzying. While Kim grieved and tried to be as present as possible for her mom, the team held down the fort and stepped. Sadly November brought about a ton of additional loss we weren’t expecting. We lost a former student in a tragic Halloween accident, my cousin’s father passed away, a dear friend’s sister was laid to rest and my brother’s younger brother lost his life at far too young an age. Needless to say, it was pretty consuming. While I can’t explain what it is to lose a parent, I do know what it is to grieve one who still lives, and support others through loss, and here’s what I know: Reach out, but give space and time, Check In Afterwards, Make them Laugh, & Offer/Insist to help. While we don’t have all the answers, we wanted to share some of our truths and trials in this season. Despite all of this loss, we are energized and ready to close out 2021, and welcome 2022 with ease and with our loved one’s in our hearts.
DID YOU KNOW?
Deaths in every state of the country are higher than they would be in a normal year, according to an analysis of estimates from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention.
What can you do with your grief?
Seek and Accept Support
Accept Your Grief
Find Role Models
Learn About Grief
Express Your Grief
Accept Your Feelings
Pace Yourself
Get Involved in Something
Have a Little Fun
Keep the Faith
What are some resources on grief?
Tips for Survivors: Coping with Grief After a Disaster or Traumatic Event
SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357), (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service) or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders.